Cold

Last night it was hard to imagine that earlier that day I had a t-shirt on. I was cold sitting there staring blankly at the screen. Sometimes the flashing cursor is so unholy. It sits there pulsing, waiting, feeding off the purity of an unblemished white screen. A part of me thinks it should be refreshing to start on a blank page, but I was swallowing hard, concentrating on keeping my heart beating normally and my brain thinking clearly. Maintaining vitals shouldn't be a conscious effort, but I think the stress was starting to get to me.

I finished it, took a few deep breaths, looked in the mirror, grabbed my face and repeated it over and over again staring into my own eyes and trying to read myself. Why are you like this?

I've never endured a shower so hot. The steam was so thick I could hardly see. I couldn't bear the thought of standing, so I sat on the uneven shower floor and let my arms wrap snuggly around my knees, holding myself there; the hot stinging my back mimicking the stinging behind my eyes. I'm not sure how long I was in there for, but I let the near-scalding water singe off the anger and burn away the sadness.

When I awoke today the birds were singing to me, telling me I could do it, I've done much harder things before.

Things.

Work.

Out.

I didn't wear a coat. It wasn't too cold out and I was wearing sunglasses. Total 80's sunglasses. And I love them.

When I got home Roommate and I took our Macs and went outside to feel warm coming out of the sky. I can't get over how excited I am for the sun to come again. Mr. Apple likes the sunshine too. I think that this picture is amazing for two reasons. The first, Roommate's half eye. The Second, you can see both our computers reflected beautifully in my sunglasses. One word: classy. As we were walking inside I saw this. It was sadly metaphorical, but I laughed as I thought about how the remnants of melted snowmen mean that spring is well on its way. At least it's coal eyes are still on the ground to help me remember the good times of watching it stand.