Thursday, March 12, 2009


I've never been a door buster at the mall before. In fact, I'm not really a shopper at all. Ideally, I'd just get everything online and never have to find a parking space, walk for hours, spend way too much time looking in mirrors and dealing with annoying sales people. But this morning I was fighting the clock, trying to nail down what I'm going to wear for engagements, and make it back to campus for class. I got to the mall at 10:04 am, just in time for the doors to open. This gave me plenty of time.

When I opened the doors I was stunned at just how many bustling walking groups were powering through the mall. I've never seen so many larger ladies in black stretch pants all in one place in my life. It was uncanny. Who knew there was this sort of mall subculture? It reminded me of this episode I listened to the other day that highlighted other such subcultures in the mall. Like the T-Mobile sales punks who hound everyone that walks by their pink and silver booth. Or the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas (AORBS).

I didn't know the groupies at the mall extended far beyond the eighth graders who have their mommy's drop them off at four and pick them up before dinner. My eyes were opened this morning as the mall joggers lined up outside their favorite stores before the gates were unlocked and lifted. As I thought about it, it seemed pretty efficient to couple exercise with shopping to-dos. It's all pretty tidy . . .

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