Honest to Goodness --by Michael

Today I was taking a difficult test in the BYU Testing Center.  The test took me 2 1/2 hours.  About half way through, I needed a break, and conveniently, I also had to go to the restroom.  The Testing Center allows students that are testing to use the bathroom on the same floor as the test.  So, I got up, walked through the door that I came in, and turned to the male student who was distributing the bubble sheets:

"I've got to go use the restroom.  Here is my phone."

"Well, I'm also going to need your test," he said. 

"Oh, okay."  So, I turned back, walked to my desk in the spacious testing hall, got my test, and returned. 

"There you go, " I said to him. 

"I'm going to need the bubble sheet as well."

"No. You see, my test doesn't have a bubble sheet.  You write the answers on the test," I explained.

"Oh, okay well you have to go to the bathroom on this floor,"  he said as he pointed to the restroom located through the door, and down the hall. "You can't go downstairs."

"Okay. Sounds good," I said.  I had done this before. 

I walked in the bathroom and entered a vacant stall.  I began thinking about how many people really cheat, and if they would even do it by going to the bathroom.  I then remembered a time when I was in that same restroom and there was a student on the phone.  I thought at the time that he was suspicious, but now I thought, Maybe he was using the restroom before the test, and not during the test.  I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.      

While still in the stall, I noticed that a white metal box was attached to the stall wall--about seat high--to my right.  What is that?  I thought, that's weird.  It is probably just for putting tissues used for blowing your nose.  

I opened the stall door, walked out and looked to the right.  What? dispensers?  What? No urinals?  Oh, no.

I quickly calmed down because no one else was in there. Sure, people (whom I didn't know were female at the time) had come in and out while I was in the stall, but no one saw me.  It happens, I thought, That's funny but oh well.  I went back to retrieve my test.

I addressed the same young man that had directed me to the bathroom.  

"Can I have my test back?"

"Were you downstairs?" he questioned.

"No, I was in the restroom right over there," I said, pointing. 

"Well, I went in to that restroom and I didn't see you," He said with a gotcha-look on his face. 

Oh, boy, I thought, "Well...I made a mistake."

"You made a mistake?"

"Yeah, I...uh I went into the women's restroom."

By this point several of his female coworkers and nearby students were listening to us.  About three seconds passed as he processed my claim.

"Well..."

"Yeah...I...um am serious."

He look incredulous.

"Honest to goodness, that's what happened."

"Okay...uh...here is your test and phone."