Ma's and Da's

I spent a good hour this morning (after making Mikey his morning breakfast sandwich, which, for the record, I only make 1 out of 15 times. I married an extremely self-sufficient boy) reading about mothers and daughters (or ma's and da's). As if I need more reason to be excited and anticipatory and sky-high-all-the-time-about-my-baby. (Did I mention we bought a bassinet? This one, to be exact. Sure, it's not "girly" but we're more into function and features. I love me a good set of features. Just ask Mikey).

I started with a recent conference talk, "Mothers and Daughters" and basically cried through the whole thing. (Chalk it up to the hormones). And then watched a video that I've seen before, but I waited for the line "Beauty and motherhood are one; they're the same thing." It was good for me to hear since these days I just feel chubby and covered in zits (hormones = 2 points, Paigey = 0). But despite the uglies that "I'm the only one who notices" (right) I love thinking about the divine role that mothers have, and knowing that I'll soon have a part in that.

Life is funny in the way it unfolds. Had you asked me this time three years ago--when I was a wide-eyed freshman, walking campus with my Y-Group Leader and feeling very grown up--if I thought I'd be married and pregnant at 21 I would have stared at you with my mouth open and then laughed. Hard. "Never in a million years!" I would say.

But now, as I'm here in this place and it feels so right and good, if you asked me if I could imagine my life any differently, I'd tell you, "Never in a million years!"

It's a testimony to the fact that we are part of something bigger and we are guided by a Father in Heaven who knows us very personally.

I also read some blogs written by mothers who inspire me. I have felt nervous at various times over the last 4 months that I would have a baby with complications, that I wouldn't have the know-how or the courage or the understanding to deal with the unexpecteds and the what-ifs. But I'm encouraged by women who do it everyday. And they do it well! And they face it with humor and gladness.

And then I realize that I'm made of the same stuff; that  I could do hard things too if I had to.

But mostly I realize again and again how grateful I am that I have the opportunity to be a mother too. Because it truly is (going to be) divine.