Ooo Ooo Ooo

I loved being a mother today. It felt like a breath of fresh air after wanting to auction off my child yesterday.

I was sitting in bed moments ago listening to her coo across the hall. They started quiet and sporadic and quickly became a series of successive "Ooo. Oooo. Oooo. Ooo. Ooo." I thought She has been so happy today. It's made mothering so fun and easy. And I sat reflecting on the day and quickly realized that she was probably just as happy today as she has been every other day this week. She was cranky when she woke up from her late-afternoon nap. I had to take a break from dinner and feed her and by the time I returned to the table everyone else was finished with their plate. She was wiggly and fussy in the evening.

So why then did today feel so good and so different from yesterday?

It wasn't hard to determine that it had everything to do with my outlook and attitude and next-to-nothing to do with Ada's.

Yesterday I wanted to finish the project that had consumed the kitchen table for the last two days. I wanted to start some freelance work I've been thinking a lot about (the nice thing about thinking, you see, is that it's a hands-free activity. I can play with the babe at the same time!) but not doing a lot about. I wanted to read. I wanted to . . .

Today, I think, I took her giggles and coos and bright curious eyes (that are there waiting for me everyday) and they became my day, rather than the thing that was constantly in my way.

p.s. she mastered the back-to-tummy roll today. Ma baby all done grown up on me.