Monday, October 8, 2007


I never cease to be amazed at how different my views are from my good friend's. She is from another country and the span of the ocean definitly puts space between her views and mine. Though she has opened my mind on numerous subjects and made me think twice about many things I've never thought to reconsider, it makes me sad to think about some of the views she holds dear, for they seem so lonely or radical.

We spoke about marriage while I was in her country in June and then again last week. Each time I am stunned by the fact that she never wants to get married. She said that marriage puts bounds and rules on love. All I heard was that she doesn't like having to be committed. She values love, but doesn't believe that love and marriage are connected. I guess for her, marriage means nothing more because she sleeps with him and has all the perks of marriage without having to be fully committed to someone. But to me, being committed is a perk. Having someone to be fully devoted to, to give you heart to sounds magical. She thinks it's a pity that one would have to give their heart away and share their life with someone. I think we clash on every facet of the subject. She thinks it's special that she can live her life and her lover can live his and just knowing the other person exsists and loves them is enough. Does he love her? Could this rockstar in a faraway city really be faithful to a young 17 year old from a smaller city? Does she see the danger? Could she ever come to believe in the principle of eternal families and realize the security in such doctrine?
We then talked about war and democracy a few days later. I told her my views on the war and she told me what she thought about America's involvement in it. She said that she respects America for being the only country willing to truly stand for what they believe in. Other countries, she said, say that they live democracy and freedom and liberty, but she doesn't see them out fighting for what they believe. My question is, why do we have to fight for OUR beliefs in a country that doesn't have even a similar culture to ours? Are we sure that our way is right? I'm not convinced that democracy works everywhere. She also told me that democracy and true freedom has always come about by a bloody battle. The French, the Americans, both fought long and hard for their freedoms and in some ways I think we're still fighting. Little battles are being won everyday in a country that preaches freedom. But why do we have to fight abroad? What obligation do we have to stop things from happening? What right do we have to let others suffer unjustly? Are we a country of justice? or are we a country of dominance?


Michelle said...

Hey girl. Thanks for blogging. I love reading your thoughts although I hope it never becomes a replacement for having amazing conversations with you. You truly inspire me.

Gritty Pretty said...

Paige, i always love reading your viewpoints especially about commitment being a perk. i agree that it can be a beautiful thing! has your friend ever met your parents? Sometimes and some places such exemplary couples of a well lived life TOGETHER are hard to find. Hope your classes are going well!

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