Free

There was only one thing that could tug hard enough to get me out of my bed this morning: news of free Jamba's in the Wilk. While standing in line I kept thinking, "Is this what BYUSA is all about? Free food? That's all they really ever advertise. Is that why I spent a few hours working on a campaign? Is that why I voted? Is that why I wore green to support them? Or was it just peer pressure from her or her?" It sent me into musings about the pointless things real government attends to instead of addressing real issues.

When OtherRoommate and I got to the front of the line we found they were not giving out free Jambas, but free Jamba shots! The only thing that would have authenticated my experience further was for the officers to be handing smoothies out in little glass cups with some sort of BYU logo or icon silkscreened on the front. You know, the tacky variety that seem to assault you when you walk into gas stations south of Sanpete County. I was careful not to slurp mine all in one gulp. I didn't want to look like I was too familiar with the art of downing shots. But just for the record, Strawberry Sunrise is not a palatable equivalent to Pomegranate Paradise.

When I was leaving I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said "I (heart) Girl Scouting" and I couldn't help but wonder, what is he trying to accomplish/advertise by wearing that? Is he trying to say, "I'm desperate and hormonally motivated?" "I'm free?" or, "I'm a pedophile?" Maybe, "I like girls who fall for lame shirts like this. Are you one of them?" Or possibly, "I need a shopping buddy." Whatever the case may be, I hope he chooses something different to wear tomorrow.

I saw a terrible, but funny, and seemingly true acronym today.

F*&%
I
Never
Actually
Learned
Smack

That was right before I saw the score of my first final. Blast! how true it is. Soon enough I'll be free from finals bondage and be able to concentrate on one thing: fleeing the country.