Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Another Mormon Mommy Blog

I've tried several times over the last week or so to post something, anything, that doesn't have to do with my little one. But try as I might to have a thought outside of the realm of mothering and how enamored I am with her, I can't. I've been consumed. And it's not that I don't want to be consumed by this newness in my life--I like what I've become--but I don't want this to become another Mormon Mommy Blog (and I'm willing to bet that Mikey doesn't want this to become one either because while he is a Mormon, he's not a Mommy).

I'm afraid, however, that my little one will be the subject of most posts for the next little while. Too bad. Motherhood is something you're thrust into all at once, and it takes a little while for the shock of it all to wear off (if it ever does . . .) I thought that I felt motherly when I heard her heartbeat for the first time, or when I watched her move across the ultrasound screen, or when I cooked and cleaned and prepared for her arrival (again, and again, and again . . .) but what I feel now is something completely different.

I was crying last night because I felt so unproductive. Write 8 thank you notes. That was one of two things on my to-do list. And I didn't write one. In fact, I had a hard time finishing the only other task on my list. When Mikey comes home and asks about my day and I feel like it's the same report day in and day out, "I spent 30 minutes trying to wake the baby to feed her. I spent a good 45 feeding her/keeping her awake to eat.  Then I put her down, and then started the whole process over again an hour or so later." (I'm slowly relearning how to view 45 minutes as a large chunk of time). But although there are definite moments of monotony, it is truly a joyful job.

Because as I'm sitting her writing this, there's a sleeping infant on my lap who just smiled the biggest one I've seen yet. And she's mine!


GrittyPretty said...

hey you! i soooo look forward to reading your mommy posts!! BEING A MOMMY BLOGGER IS THE BEST. and not go for it!!! please?
a very proud mommy blogger =)

erin said...

I hope this isn't offensive, but I find it so comforting to know that Paige Crosland is indeed slightly human. I remember the first 3 months, and my to-do list was

1. Keep Max alive
2. Eat at least 2 meals myself
3. put make up on, once a week. for church or something.

Everything else was just bonus :)

And I too hope to read a lot of "mommy" posts, because that's who I relate to. And you are a smart, capable, talented, spiritual, mom. So I hope your posts reflect just that! Same wonderful Paige, just a new lens to view life through.

Brittany said...

I have to say "amen" to Erin's to-do list. That's still mine after 6 months. I also tried to keep my blog to reflect 'me' but alas, the babies have taken over and there's not much I can do about it.

Elle and Jared said...

no apology needed. i feel like my brain still has to work extra hard to think of anything else besides mom-stuff. and i think it would be weirder if you were posting tons of entries about libya and gaddafi and protests in wisconsin rather than the most truly life-changing event of your life that just happened.

Kelsey said...

I don't do my to-do lists and I don't have a child to look after. It seems to me you're doing beautifully. :)oh, and your daughter is beautiful, and I don't think your blog will ever be a Mormon mommy blog. Keep it up!

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