Monday, May 26, 2008


I wish I had the capacity to type out the sounds that have been clinging in my ears like sticky ectoplasm. My poor bunkmate must have the plague or something and I really do feel for her, but must she insist on coddling up every gram of phlegm and slime desperately clinging to her esophagus walls, forcing into a mass in her mouth and then spitting the wad into a plastic sac that just so happens to be precariously perched on her bulletin board which also happens to be positioned directly over my head? I just wish you could hear the sounds she makes. Every hacking, coughing, juicy-head-cold, allergetic, sludgy, oozy sound a human is capable of making she makes and indeed makes every, oh, say, 13.2 seconds. I'm just waiting for the time that she either a) spits into the bag and the little plastic "fft" sound that the mucousy blah makes as it plunks into the sack is followed by a mucousy plop of nearly two weeks of guttural excess on my shoulder or b) misses the bag entirely and I find a massive blob of plague on my head. Sort of like flubber, only not so friendly.

I'm just praying I don't fall ill. I was just nasty on Sunday and woke up with a fear that her 2 weeks of hacking down the crack between the wall and her mattress onto me and my things may have finally taken its toll on my immune system. I put my retainer on the shelf the other day and ever since I've been to afraid to wear it. I just don't think there is any way that brushing it could be sufficient. I need rubbing alcohol or something. Maybe I'll just run it through the sanitizer in the kitchen with the silverware.

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