Burnt

Most couples adorn their blogs with darling little posts about "Our First Christmas Together." Ours wasn't quite as darling.

We have 7 ornaments on our tree and "ornaments," in this case, is a loose term for something small on the branches. There are two paintings and a Christmas card, so in reality there are actually just 4. Half the tree doesn't light either. I think it served as a perfect metaphor for how I felt on Christmas day. I was burnt out and empty, frustrated and sad.

Mikey was sick. Really sick. After battling congestion, migraine headaches and a fever for three days, he finally threw in the towel on trying to keep up with our family festivities. Christmas morning he put on a good face and opened presents with my family but by 10 he was ready to see a doctor. He had put up with "Try this, I'm sure you'll feel better," or "Take three of these, you look like you need it," for too many days.

We drove to the Health Center. Closed. Then to the ER. Fear of waiting in long lines and paying a million dollars for someone to tell him that he just need rest and fluids prevented us (well, mostly just me) from going inside. We were lucky enough to see a doctor in our ward who checked Mikey out in the car, cleared our fears swine possibilities, and prescribed him some meds.

Next we drove to the pharmacy where they gave us the run around because we didn't have an insurance card. (Guess what came in the mail the next day? Yep, our insurance card. Timely huh?) Mom ended up having to come down and with her magic-grown-up-mommy powers get them to sell us the drugs full price. When will I have those powers?

After tucking Mikey in and getting him all set up with drugs, food and relaxation, I got to my grandparents with the rest of the fam hours after everyone else and by this time was feeling rather sorry for myself. I missed my Mikey and he was out of commission for the rest of the day. He did get up and join us for an hour of games from about 8 - 9 that night, but asked to leave hours before anyone else even thought about leaving. I was sad and grouchy. This was our year for Christmas and thanks to some bug he caught, my holiday was ruined.

I was ornery and crabby and mean. I even cried.

But don't feel sorry for me.

The 25th this year taught me some good lessons and gave me the sweet opportunity to put my wants aside and care for the one I love most. What a better way to spend Christmas? It took me all day to figure it out, but I'm grateful for the lesson of love and sacrifice that I learned. Though my lights felt half lit and my branches a little empty, my heart was full as I finally let my eyes dry and close for the night. Inside my heart I was glowing brighter than ever and understanding a little deeper what "the true spirit of Christmas" really means.