Have I mentioned that The Lou is crawling? I'm not sure what it is about crawling that makes a baby suddenly fascinated by stairs, but I've had to be more watchful as I put her down on the floor to play.
She's also started putting her little fist to her mouth and making a "ba, ba, ba, ba" sound as she moves it back and forth. She is learning more and more each day that she has control of her body and her voice. I think she's in love with the discovery.
Watching her develop makes me aware of the blessing it is to have control of my body and voice. I am and able person. I can move the way I want to. I can speak the way I want to. When everything else seems out of my control, I can remember that I alone control myself.
As I drove home from completing a list of errands I tried to picture what my life will look like a month from now. What I came up with was between Roman Holiday, a friend's mission pictures, what life was like when we lived in DC and stories from people's study abroads. In short, it was a hodgepodge of nothing in particular, which turned out to be more like indiscriminate daydreaming. Basically I have no idea what my life will look like a month from now.
I remember being frustrated with the fact that I didn't have a clear picture of what my life would look like a year or so down the road. Being the planner that I am, I was annoyed by constantly shifting plans and unknowns so big I couldn't plan for them.
Cut to the present: I can't see farther than a week down the road. But I'm okay with it. I've accepted that I'm learning to be more spontaneous, agile and adventurous. This is my new normal. For now.