R

So I am watching my first Rated R movie. The best part is that my parents are facilitating the whole experience. Only minutes into the film Tom Cruise drops the F-bomb. No one moves or says anything. Pretend it didn't happen...Then he said it again. Mom says, "Oops! Sorry." We chime in "That's the second one." "Really?" More of the film passes. A third F shoots out of his mouth and slaps us in the face. Family bonding is so wholesome. And just now as I wrote that, Tom and Dustin Hoffman had a little freakout in the airport. The tally is up to 5. But who's counting? The answer: Alison. She has commented after every one after the first. I just laugh. Oh my parents.

After the third Mom says, "This isn't rated R is it?" Will grabs the box, "Uh...yeeeeah, it's R." "Hmm. It must be for language. I don't remember anything objectionable." (The tally just went to 6). Well she spoke too soon. All of the sudden we hear a sex scene coming on and Mom was up in a flash (7) to turn off the TV while Dad lazily motioned "Get the box." (Crosland lingo translation: television remote). We successfully avoided a sexual run-in, but resumed watching the film. I was laughing so hard at my parents as I thanked them for my first Rated R experience. (And that makes 8). My mom was surprised I haven't watched one before this. I'm appalled that she had my integrity in question! But I'm glad we could have this experience together and all take part in some good old-fashioned, wholesome family bonding. (Oop! 9)