Thursday, July 30, 2009


I got a Twitter. It's true. But only for the sole reason of keeping track of the priceless things the boys I nanny for say. The only thing to make them better is to have Mikey imitate their little voices. He's actually really good. I fall into fits of laughter every time he does. Keep in mind, Gabbin' is six and Paddy is "Three-and-a-half," meaning he turns four on Saturday.
  • Kinkajous are not the smallest monkey. A marmoset is. Aaaand they're nocturnal. [Gabbin']
  • Do you have enough energy to do three-thousand underdogs? [Paddy]
  • My grandpa, Big Ed, died on April Fool's Day. [Gabbin']
- This is a musical vacuum. My mom only has a noise vacuum.
- Yeah I only have a noise vacuum too. A musical vacuum sounds great. Where can I get one?
- Um, the musical vacuum store on Wisconsin Ave. (long pause) In the sky.
- In the sky?! How do I get there then?
- A hang-glider [conversation with Paddy]
  • Look Paige! I made a motorcycle jet fighter. It has two wheels and can fly. [Paddy]
  • Paige where's the bottom of your mouth? . . . Oh. [Paddy]
  • But when my bottom is on the seat it feels AWFUL! [Gabbin']
  • Is Alaska the place where we store our super secret jet fighters? [Gabbin']
  • Uncle Chris has six hairs. You're right! [Paddy]
  • Any time you see someone looking at you and you think it's a ghost, it's just Paddy. [Paddy]
  • How do you say peanut butter and jelly in french? I'll tell you. Pajellio. And in Chinese you say peanut butter and jelly: Poneesio [Paddy]
  • The United States had to buy Alaska, right? And Congress had to pay a lot of gold chunks for it, right? [Gabbin']
  • The only way to catch a bird is to put some salt on his back and then it goes super fast and then it goes down. [Paddy]
  • Somerset doesn't have any bad men. Know why? Because there are like 46 policemen driving around it. 46. Right Paige? [Gabbin']
  • Do you see any bikes that say "Pro Thunder" on them? Well it's mine. I ONLY ride "Thunder Bikes" because they're the FASTEST kind of bike. [Gabbin']
  • Are you dying for a Madsen bike? You're DYING for one huh? So you can pull Michael around, right? [Gabbin']
  • People who make sound effects in movies get a lot of money, right Paige? Like 40 dollars everyday, right Paige? Because making them is very hard, right Paige? [Gabbin']
  • The man sitting next to me smells like cookies. [Paddy]
  • Um, I can't eat any more hot dog because I just quit eating food this morning and I quit society. [Paddy]
  • Do you know what a cow's favorite sound is? Moosic. Do you know what a cow's favorite food is? Grassic! [Paddy]
  • Do goblins have green shoes? 'Cause Goblins are Irish. [Paddy]
  • Did you know that even when I'm an adult I'll still cry when someone puts a needle in my eye? That's DEFINITELY a crier, right Paige? [Gabbin']
  • You're bald. You look like a baldy Michael. That must be a crew cut. [Gabbin' in reference to Mikey's buzz]
  • Do you want to come down and see how I really got the rhythm in my dancing and how the music really activates my body? [Gabbin']
  • Do you want to see a hole that smells like a Christmas tree? If you put you nose in there you'll smell a Christmas smell. [Paddy]
  • Paige I wiped until the wipe came out clean. So we should probably reuse this one right? [Gabbin' while showing me his used wipe]
  • They just can't shut down NASA! I'm putting all my experience towards NASA! If they shut down NASA, I'll have to shut down all my experience!! [Gabbin']
  • The magic word always has do to with poo. The word yesterday was poopy-head. Today it's poopylackading. Always poopy. Right paige? [Gabbin' referring to Paddy's magic words]
  • You have to count to 4000 because I have trouble finding a hiding spot. [Paddy]
  • This tree is easy to climb. WAY easier than my Japanese Maple! [Gabbin']
  • But if I stop on my bike I can't get up my speed for one million and forty-seven hours! [Gabbin' after getting the eye for running into the back of Paddy]
  • Did you know that there were dinosaurs in the ice age and they chased animals? Do you know who got away? The rats. [Paddy]
  • Did you know that air is not food? Air is air. Right? [Paddy]
  • Thanks! I NEEDED that money for my money collection! I'm a collector of money! [Paddy]
  • I wrote a Y. I wrote a Y! What did I do. [Paddy]
My last day of nannying was yesterday and to be quite honest, while it has definitely been an experience that taught me loads, I'm so excited to be done. They used us up until the last minute last night. We were there late. So late, in fact, that we missed the last train into town and had to take a taxi. That's a whole other story. But such a classic one.


gigi said...

Oh, Paige, thanks for the laugh. Those were all great.

Fancy Nancy said...

You get the Mary Poppins award for being such a super nanny, Paige. Those boys will miss you and never forget you.

wings said...

Do you want to come down and see how I really got the rhythm in my dancing and how the music really activates my body?

and all the toilet paper ones. my favorites.

hahahaha, paige! these were the best, I'd create a ridiculously long forwarded amil message with these at the very bottom if I belived in forwarding messages, but I dont, so instead I'll just link this post on my blog. love love love!

also, the zion, education post had me thinking for days. thank you.

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