Thursday, August 14, 2008


I finished a day early. Call me weak, but I dare you to go off everything that tastes good and makes you actually WANT to put things in your mouth for 4 days, and then tell me how strong you are.

Dad wasn't too thrilled about the idea of me not eating for a week before gearing up to hike 11 miles in Zion on Saturday. I told him I'd go half day on Friday so I would have a little something in my belly before donning my Merrell's and hitting the trail. OlderAndWiserToo and PseudoSister, however, were sick of the self-deprivation and decided to give in early. I came home from work on Wednesday to find OlderAndWiserToo in the kitchen fixing herself up a large tasty salad. It just wasn't fair. Knowing that I was the only one left standing was empowering for about 1.3 seconds until the smell of ranch almost sent me into a frenzy and all I wanted was to maul my sister for her food.

And this is when the cleanse got extra hard.

Waking up this morning and being the only one to down the Sea Monkey food made me want to curl up in the fetal position and rock myself until someone fed me. It's even more terrible by yourself. I opened the fridge to take out my day's allotment of "lemonade" and opened the lid to take a swig. The smell almost made me throw up. I was so completely tired of it. But I put it in my purse and headed over to Her Majesty's to babysit her two little kittens for the morning.

Chasing a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old on 4 days of NO FOOD really puts you out. The thought of getting off my chair to pick up the Play-Doh lid that the Rascal threw off the table again made my entire body sore. Before this morning I had never made that easy intellectual leap that FOOD = ENERGY. Novel eh? I was as drained as I have ever felt in my life. And it was only 10 am. Blast.

I decided to terminate the cleanse that night. The realization of how miserable I would be Saturday morning on a week without sustenance hit as I was walking up the stairs, reached the top and found myself breathing heavy. I called OlderAndWiserToo and we made a plan for a "Break the Fast Celebration" at Bajio. I got a little dancey just thinking about it. I wiggled with excitement for 5 hours at my desk at work and tapped my toes on the way to the car. We went to an interview to transfer our records and then met the 'Rents at home to save on gas and carpool to the place of my caloric salvation. I had been looking forward to this since the Sea Monkey food on Monday morning.

Let me tell you, it was MANNA TO THE TASTE. And there was much rejoicing.

1 comment:

medicus said...

Oh man, I can't believe you lasted so long! It sounded absolutely terrible! So, how well did it accomplish its desired effects?

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