Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Discovering Daddy
One of the best things about motherhood so far is watching Mikey take on his role as a father. I love listening to him sing songs in Spanish, or the diaper change song (which he rewrote the lyrics to), or just about any other song he can fit her name into. I love watching him change her diapers or get excited about her strong neck. I love watching my girl discover her daddy. I think she loves his voice as much as I do.
Last night 9:00 rolled around and both Mikey and I were pretty beat. I fed the babe, changed her diap, swaddled her tight and then tried to muster the energy to stand up and sing her to sleep. That's where Mikey stepped in. He rocked and sang while I listened. I tried to close my eyes, but I couldn't stop watching the man I love most care for our baby girl. How I love them both. . .
Last night 9:00 rolled around and both Mikey and I were pretty beat. I fed the babe, changed her diap, swaddled her tight and then tried to muster the energy to stand up and sing her to sleep. That's where Mikey stepped in. He rocked and sang while I listened. I tried to close my eyes, but I couldn't stop watching the man I love most care for our baby girl. How I love them both. . .
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Another Mormon Mommy Blog
I've tried several times over the last week or so to post something, anything, that doesn't have to do with my little one. But try as I might to have a thought outside of the realm of mothering and how enamored I am with her, I can't. I've been consumed. And it's not that I don't want to be consumed by this newness in my life--I like what I've become--but I don't want this to become another Mormon Mommy Blog (and I'm willing to bet that Mikey doesn't want this to become one either because while he is a Mormon, he's not a Mommy).
I'm afraid, however, that my little one will be the subject of most posts for the next little while. Too bad. Motherhood is something you're thrust into all at once, and it takes a little while for the shock of it all to wear off (if it ever does . . .) I thought that I felt motherly when I heard her heartbeat for the first time, or when I watched her move across the ultrasound screen, or when I cooked and cleaned and prepared for her arrival (again, and again, and again . . .) but what I feel now is something completely different.
I was crying last night because I felt so unproductive. Write 8 thank you notes. That was one of two things on my to-do list. And I didn't write one. In fact, I had a hard time finishing the only other task on my list. When Mikey comes home and asks about my day and I feel like it's the same report day in and day out, "I spent 30 minutes trying to wake the baby to feed her. I spent a good 45 feeding her/keeping her awake to eat. Then I put her down, and then started the whole process over again an hour or so later." (I'm slowly relearning how to view 45 minutes as a large chunk of time). But although there are definite moments of monotony, it is truly a joyful job.
Because as I'm sitting her writing this, there's a sleeping infant on my lap who just smiled the biggest one I've seen yet. And she's mine!
I'm afraid, however, that my little one will be the subject of most posts for the next little while. Too bad. Motherhood is something you're thrust into all at once, and it takes a little while for the shock of it all to wear off (if it ever does . . .) I thought that I felt motherly when I heard her heartbeat for the first time, or when I watched her move across the ultrasound screen, or when I cooked and cleaned and prepared for her arrival (again, and again, and again . . .) but what I feel now is something completely different.
I was crying last night because I felt so unproductive. Write 8 thank you notes. That was one of two things on my to-do list. And I didn't write one. In fact, I had a hard time finishing the only other task on my list. When Mikey comes home and asks about my day and I feel like it's the same report day in and day out, "I spent 30 minutes trying to wake the baby to feed her. I spent a good 45 feeding her/keeping her awake to eat. Then I put her down, and then started the whole process over again an hour or so later." (I'm slowly relearning how to view 45 minutes as a large chunk of time). But although there are definite moments of monotony, it is truly a joyful job.
Because as I'm sitting her writing this, there's a sleeping infant on my lap who just smiled the biggest one I've seen yet. And she's mine!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Gold Medalist
You know your life has changed when the most exciting part of your day was finding a poop in your baby's diaper. And you know that you're never going back when you applaud your infant for nearly unloading on your husband's hand and then applauding and congratulating her like she had won an Olympic gold medal.
I love it.
The first few days have definitely provided both Mike and I with several curve balls. I thanked him for helping so much last night and he responded with "What? I nearly fed our baby a slushie!" We're still learning. I can't get over what classic first-time parents we are who worry about things like her mouth breathing and count soiled diapers obsessively (and cheer on our baby's bowel movements).
It's still sinking in that she's mine. Forever. Oh how I love her so, so and so!
I love it.
The first few days have definitely provided both Mike and I with several curve balls. I thanked him for helping so much last night and he responded with "What? I nearly fed our baby a slushie!" We're still learning. I can't get over what classic first-time parents we are who worry about things like her mouth breathing and count soiled diapers obsessively (and cheer on our baby's bowel movements).
It's still sinking in that she's mine. Forever. Oh how I love her so, so and so!
Friday, February 11, 2011
What did I expect?
I had a lot of dreams about what the pregnancy journey would be like. I imagined sharing our news with family in some fun--possibly elaborate--way. Heck, I thought I'd surprise Mike with the news in an exciting fashion. I expected to drive around the city picking up various kinds of mashed potatoes (or some other random food) trying to satisfy an intense craving. I envisioned myself waking Mike up in the middle of the night saying, "I think this is it!" and rushing to the hospital, getting there just in time, and delivering a beautiful baby girl.
But it wasn't like that at all. The news leaked before we got a chance to share. Mike was the one who held the flashing pregnancy test until it read PREGNANT and actually gave me the news. Cravings? What cravings? I had one. And rather than getting to drive to the hospital because of waves of contractions, we waited for the doctors to call us saying they were ready to induce.
But what I didn't expect was how instantly I would fall in love with my baby girl; how instantly I would feel like a mother; how instantly I would feel peace and contentment in just holding her close. It has been a truly incredible day.
But it wasn't like that at all. The news leaked before we got a chance to share. Mike was the one who held the flashing pregnancy test until it read PREGNANT and actually gave me the news. Cravings? What cravings? I had one. And rather than getting to drive to the hospital because of waves of contractions, we waited for the doctors to call us saying they were ready to induce.
But what I didn't expect was how instantly I would fall in love with my baby girl; how instantly I would feel like a mother; how instantly I would feel peace and contentment in just holding her close. It has been a truly incredible day.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Control-freak
I feel like I'm already learning lessons about being a parent.
Like this one: you have absolutely no control. None. Not even a little.
Like this one: you have absolutely no control. None. Not even a little.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
The waiting game
While I've been really trying hard to keep myself occupied over the last few days, I think it's getting progressively harder to keep my mind busy.
I get asked a lot what I've been doing to keep busy. Well, I'm really busy moping and whining. And I take as long as I possibly can to do my hair. I've painted my nails three times in two days. And I have been getting ahead in my class. (My next assignment is due on February 23rd. And that's only because they haven't posted the assignments due beyond that date).
I went grocery shopping today and wasn't thinking. (I'm never really thinking. . . well, that's not true. I think. But only about one thing. . .) I bought milk, juice, canned food and loads of other heavy things totaling nearly $90 dollars and then I realized I had to walk home. And while home is very close (so close that I feel stupid driving) the trek back made me feel like a pioneer. The most frustrating part of the block and a half walk wasn't the weight of the bags or the light drizzle. It was the fact that when the bags would bang against my leg and I would look down to see how to better situate things, my glasses would slip to the end of my nose and I then had to walk with my chin way up to prevent them from completely falling off of my face. I'm sure I looked ridiculous. I prayed that no one would stop and offer to help. I just wanted to be invisible. I feel conspicuous enough being over nine months pregnant, period.
Mikey and I passed the evening hours at the movie theater. I wasn't sure I wanted to go because it's hard for me to sit still, but there were a total of 5 people in the theater (we were 2 of them) so I moved between lying sideways and taking up three chairs, to hanging my feet over the row in front of me, to sitting very straight, to slouching, to lying on Mike. It was awesome.
But seriously, this baby can't get here soon enough. I'm not sure what she's waiting for, but I'm sure she'll be worth the wait!
I get asked a lot what I've been doing to keep busy. Well, I'm really busy moping and whining. And I take as long as I possibly can to do my hair. I've painted my nails three times in two days. And I have been getting ahead in my class. (My next assignment is due on February 23rd. And that's only because they haven't posted the assignments due beyond that date).
I went grocery shopping today and wasn't thinking. (I'm never really thinking. . . well, that's not true. I think. But only about one thing. . .) I bought milk, juice, canned food and loads of other heavy things totaling nearly $90 dollars and then I realized I had to walk home. And while home is very close (so close that I feel stupid driving) the trek back made me feel like a pioneer. The most frustrating part of the block and a half walk wasn't the weight of the bags or the light drizzle. It was the fact that when the bags would bang against my leg and I would look down to see how to better situate things, my glasses would slip to the end of my nose and I then had to walk with my chin way up to prevent them from completely falling off of my face. I'm sure I looked ridiculous. I prayed that no one would stop and offer to help. I just wanted to be invisible. I feel conspicuous enough being over nine months pregnant, period.
Mikey and I passed the evening hours at the movie theater. I wasn't sure I wanted to go because it's hard for me to sit still, but there were a total of 5 people in the theater (we were 2 of them) so I moved between lying sideways and taking up three chairs, to hanging my feet over the row in front of me, to sitting very straight, to slouching, to lying on Mike. It was awesome.
But seriously, this baby can't get here soon enough. I'm not sure what she's waiting for, but I'm sure she'll be worth the wait!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
See your shadow?
Dear Baby,
The Groundhog came out and saw his shadow today. Want to come out and see yours? Let me know.
Love,
Your Mama
The Groundhog came out and saw his shadow today. Want to come out and see yours? Let me know.
Love,
Your Mama
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Force it
I've been forcing myself to keep busy and keep my mind off of my still-not-here-baby. I know, I know, I know . . . she's not due for 3 days . . .
To keep busy
But let's face it, as much as I can force "busyness," I can't force her out. Even with the 200 jumping jacks I did last night.
To keep busy
- I have swept and mopped the kitchen floor three times in a week.
- I have touched up every piece of black furniture in our house.
- I have been dusting thrice-daily. Not because it's dusty. But because I am that bored.
- I am a week and a half ahead in my class
- I have made/frozen a few meals (but my mom out-does me every time. I go over there and she always says, "Oh! There's _____________ in the freezer for you . . ." #1 Mom Award).
- I finished a painting.
- I laundered every possible piece of dirty clothing/rug/towel/rag in our house
- I have gone on a few walks with my Mikey (I hate going out walking because I feel like everyone who passes us thinks, "Ha, suckers. That never works to start labor." But the fresh air is more of a necessity than anything)
- I have run errands that don't even need running
But let's face it, as much as I can force "busyness," I can't force her out. Even with the 200 jumping jacks I did last night.
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